About John's Protocol
John's Protocol is a highly acclaimed, utterly useless, and totally confusing guide to navigating the complexities of life. Written by John himself, this tome covers everything from the best ways to fold a fitted sheet to the art of making the perfect cup of coffee.
John's Protocol is not a substitute for actual human intelligence or common sense. In fact, following John's Protocol is likely to lead to confusion, frustration, and occasional success.
For more information on John's Protocol, visit our About John or Definitely Not Helping pages.
Or, if you're feeling brave, try to navigate our Protocol Archive and see where it takes you.
Disclaimer: Do not follow John's Protocol if you value your sanity.